71 pages • 2 hours read
Hattie blames Angel Valentine for Adam’s death, even though Hattie knows that Angel is not at all to at fault. Watching Mom dress to visit Nana the next day, Hattie notices that Mom has pictures of all the family members on her mirror except Adam. Mom never visited Adam at his school because Nana told her not to. When Hattie asks Mom if she loved Adam, Mom angrily almost slaps Hattie, but apologizes and says that she did love Adam, but that he was “very hard to love” (169). Hattie remembers things Adam would do and say and seems to hear his voice in her head. She wishes he had not killed himself, but acknowledges he had some cause. Hattie realizes she never wrote a letter to Leila. Mom’s brother, Hayden, arrives and wants to know everything that happened, making Hattie reflect on their family’s poor communication. Sad that Adam’s obituary only gives bare facts and does not capture his essence, Hattie gets permission to speak at the funeral to tell people about the real Adam.
Hattie wears the yellow birthday dress that Adam admired to his funeral. There is a crowd at the church, but Hattie realizes people are not attending out of respect for Nana and Papa, but rather out of curiosity. Nancy and Janet, suppressing giggles, are present. After the generic service, Hattie confronts Nancy and Janet, declaring that Adam was not a freak. She talks about Adam’s fears and his good times. As Nana cries silently, Hattie says that Adam could “lift the corners of our universe” (178). Hattie realizes that she no longer cares about Nancy and Janet. Hattie thinks that it took courage for Adam to kill himself. During the funeral reception at Nana and Papa’s house, Hattie visits Adam’s bedroom. The walls are covered with magazine pictures, including photos of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, the stars of I Love Lucy. Nana sits on Adam’s bed. She shows Hattie Adam’s treasure box, which is filled with trinkets and photos. Hattie’s mom sent Adam a small present and a letter every week that he was in school. When the family visits Adam’s grave privately, Hattie tells Adam she is not mad at him and understands why he killed himself.
Hattie returns readers to the time of the book’s Prologue, watching home movies two months after Adam’s death. Since then, Angel Valentine has moved out. Hattie has slowly gotten over the feeling that Angel caused Adam’s death. Nana and Papa have had trouble coping: Papa stayed home from work and drank alone during the daytime for a week, while Nana could not clean Adam’s room. Hattie and her parents took a family trip where they could each have alone time: Mom watched movies by herself, Hattie rode a bike, and Dad breakfasted by himself. In the evenings, Hattie encouraged them to share what they remembered about and learned from Adam. When she said that she learned from Adam that their family needed to communicate more, her parents agreed to try. Hattie wrote Leila a letter. Mrs. Strowsky got a job, so Hattie, Catherine, and Betsy are now in the same school class.
Hattie finds a movie of her mom’s college graduation that she has not seen: It features a happy, goofy, five-year-old Adam. The film makes Hattie emotional. She thanks Adam for teaching her to lift the corners of her universe and explore life.
Adam’s suicide has a profound effect on Hattie’s family and the town of Millerton. Hattie uses Adam’s death and the lessons she learned from him as a catalyst for change within her community, family, and herself. Themes of family communication and friendship reach fruition as Hattie embraces the joyful aspect of Adam’s life philosophy.
By speaking at Adam’s funeral, Hattie helps dispel the stigmatization of mental illness. She stands up to Millerton’s shallow and pejorative misjudgment of Adam as a “freak.” Hattie shows everyone that Adam had good times and bad, and fears and joys just as they do—Adam was as human as they are and did not deserve to be marginalized. Hattie advocates empathy and communication.
Hattie faces the adult task of coping with grief. She recognizes that everyone in her family reacts to Adam’s death differently, but in accordance with their personalities and their approaches to Adam. Nana holds her pain inside, as she has controlled her emotions throughout the novel. Uncle Hayden surmises correctly that Nana, in her grief, is “pinched and held in” (170). Her tears, when they come, are silent, and she has trouble reaching out for comfort. Papa also internalizes his emotions, initially turning to isolation and alcohol to manage his grief.
Hattie herself progresses through several waves of grief-filled emotions: an initial period of numbness where time seems to stretch out and blur, misplaced anger directed at Angel Valentine, and disappointment with Adam at being a “big baby” for leaving the way he did. On their family vacation, as she and her parents take “time alone” each day to process their emotions, Hattie moves towards acceptance and reflection. She assures Adam that she is not angry at him, and even feels that it took a lot of courage for such a life-loving individual to end his life. Hattie now aspires to live hers more authentically. She asserts her emotional needs to her family, insisting that they need to communicate more going forward, though their commitment is lukewarm. After the funeral, Hattie feels older, and no longer cares about Nancy or Janet and their petty attacks.
Some questions and issues remain unresolved. The novel never defines Adam’s illness, and readers never learn whether it is hereditary. Hattie, however, decides that she is not that much like Adam after all, and decides that only her shy personality held her back from making friends. The adults do not grow as much as Hattie does. Nana and Papa, though depressed, continue their lives with minimal interruption. Mom and Dad agree to communicate more, but do not ask Hattie questions or volunteer information.
Adam and Leila showed Hattie how to make friends and have confidence in herself. Hattie can befriend Catherine and empathize with her because of their shared losses. The adult life lesson of loss makes Hattie appreciate the important things in life more deeply. Hattie’s understanding and sense of self have matured. She understands the importance of living every day with joy and exploring one’s boundaries—peeking under those corners of the universe, instead of watching life go by without her.
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By Ann M. Martin
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