Ban This Book

Coletrane Farmer, a second-grade student, accidentally drops his cafeteria tray and his concealed copy of Wait Till Helen Comes when he runs into someone. Amy Anne watches in terror as Principal Banazewski comes over to help and picks the book up. Before she can notice the title, though, Jeffrey Gonzalez and another fourth-grade boy get into a physical fight. The principal hands Coletrane the book and hurries over to the fighting boys. Amy Anne rescues the book and tells Coletrane to keep it out of the cafeteria from now on. She sees new danger in the BBLL: “The locker library was going great, but that meant that there were a lot of banned books out there in the hands of Shelbourne Elementary students” (119). The principal takes the boys to her office; Amy Anne wonders if Jeffrey might have started the fight to save the BBLL. She intends to thank him.

Jeffrey gets suspended. Danny tells Amy Anne and Rebecca he knows someone who can help with what he calls their “visibility problem” (122). Fifth grader Michael Jordan goes by MJ and is a fierce talent at creating book covers on the computer. They meet with him in the computer lab and decide he should create a fake book jacket for each banned book in the library—27 titles and counting. They have fun spontaneously creating fake book titles for MJ: “The Seventeenth Princess,” “Mr. Bear Opens a Bank Account,” “Smell My Finger,” and “Tales of a Fourth Grade Zombie” (125) are a few. Amy Anne notices too late that Trey is in the next aisle and probably heard everything.

The fourth graders love Dav Pilkey when he comes to visit; he talks about his school days, his books, and the enjoyment he gets from making kids happy. During time for questions, Amy Anne summons courage to ask how he feels about his “books being banned from [their] library” (130). He responds diplomatically that people should be able to read their choice of reading materials. Amy Anne sees the principal glaring at Mrs. Jones. After the author’s presentation, Amy Anne, Danny, and Rebecca take the BBLL’s copy of The Adventures of Captain Underpants to Mr. Pilkey for his author’s signature. He is confused by the book jacket Smell My Finger, but soon realizes they have his banned book in hand. He signs the copy and leaves them with advice: “Well, keep reading, you guys. And don’t get into too much trouble” (133). Amy Anne notices Trey waiting to see the writer next.

That afternoon, Amy Anne reads in her special corner of the school library as Mrs. Jones thanks Mr. Pilkey and sends him off. After he goes, Mrs. Jones presents Amy Anne with a gift from the author—a series set of 12 Captain Underpants books: “He said you’d know what to do with them” (136). Amy Anne is so thrilled she barely hears Mrs. Jones’s warning to not reveal them at school.

Mrs. Spencer returns to the library with reinforcements. She and friends remove for review a tall stack of books. Amy Anne meets with Rebecca and Danny that afternoon in the library during language arts; all are eager to represent the newly challenged titles in the BBLL. Danny has the idea to “borrow” the ones removed from the library shelves by taking them from Mrs. Jones’s office. Amy Anne agrees first, then Rebecca agrees after she protests her concerns about legality. Danny leaves with a library book buried in his backpack, intentionally making the alarm go off. Mrs. Jones begins to help him unpack his bag, looking for the book. Amy Anne and Rebecca collect books from Mrs. Jones’s office; Amy Anne pulls 15 she recalls on the banned list: “When I was finished, I had a stack that reached up to my chin” (143). She then desensitizes them on the machine at Mrs. Jones’s circulation desk. She and Rebecca do not set off any alarms, and they now have many more for the BBLL.

In a delightfully quiet house that evening, Amy Anne sits looking at the borrowed books: “It was a treasure trove, these stacks, and suddenly I had the ideas that I was Smaug the Dragon sitting on my piles of gold and jewels, and I would do anything to keep that hobbit and those dwarves from taking them back” (147). Amy Anne pastes envelopes for the sign-out card to the books that need one, but others are so old they still have the envelope and sign-out card from the 1980s. Amy Anne likes to look at the old signature cards as she pulls them. Suddenly she sees a name she recognizes.

Amy Anne tries to thank Jeffrey Gonzalez when he returns, but he says he did not get into the fight to save a book. On Free Reading Friday in Mr. Vaughn’s language arts class, Amy Anne settles in with The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner’s Dilemma when she realizes Mr. Vaughn is asking Lacey Edwards about the book she is reading—The Seventeenth Princess. He asks what happened to the first 16; Lacey fumbles in coming up for an answer but soon is rattling off random princess death like “got sat on by a giant” and “choked on her own snot” (152). Amy Anne is kicking herself as classmates listen to Lacey and laugh: “Why in the world did we have to make it seventeen princesses?” (152). She notices Trey looking at her as everyone goes back to reading.

Amy Anne realizes that Jeffrey’s grandmother’s passing away might be causing his dark mood and misbehavior. She knows from books she reads that sometimes characters who lose a loved one get angry and upset in their grief and thinks, “I had a book like that in my locker, in fact” (155). She drops Jeffrey a note, and when he arrives at the BBLL, she persuades him to check out Bridge to Terabithia, in which main character Jess loses his best friend in an accident. As Jeffrey leaves, Amy Anne turns to discover Trey Spencer nearby. He says he wants to borrow a book and he shows her that he knows what the green dots mean on her hidden list. He wants to borrow a Captain Underpants book. She suspects that his signing out a book could be a trick or mean trouble, but then realizes that he might just want to read a banned book, which was the whole reason she started the BBLL. She realizes Trey is watching her: “Trey looked disappointed in me and turned to leave” (157). She calls him back and checks out Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants to him.