Dear John

“When I first met Savannah Lynn Curtis—to me she will always be Savannah Lynn Curtis—I could never have predicted my life would turn out the way it has or believed I’d make the army my career.”

This statement foreshadows that John and Savannah will not end up together and that now she is someone else entirely, with an unmentioned married name only hinted at.

“I reflect on these things, and as always, our time together comes back to me. I find myself remembering how it began, for now these memories are all I have left.”

This quote foreshadows the events between Savannah and John that end up with him alone and without her. However, it also sets up the narrative as John’s reflection on the past, which thus establishes the prologue as the present day, and prepares us for a retelling of the history. As he says, the memories are all he has in the present.

“My dad and I were as different as two people could possibly be. Where he was passive and introspective, I was always in motion and hated to be alone; while he placed a high value on education, school for me was like a social club with sports added in. He has poor posture and tended to shuffle when he walked; I bounced from here to there, forever asking him to time how long it took me to run to the end of the block and back. […] Our physical features were completely different, too. While he has sandy hair, hazel eye, and freckles, I had brown hair and eyes, and my olive skin would darken to a deep tan by May.”

This is the first characterization we get of John and his father. Immediately we see the potential conflict stemming from the differences in their personalities and how they move through the world. This conflict is only heightened as we learn more about their relationship. 

“I mulled it over for a couple of days, and in the end, my dad had something to do with my decision. Not that I talked to him about it, of course—we weren’t talking at all by then. […] He was nearing retirement, and I was struck by the notion that I had no right to keep letting him down after all he’d done for me.”

Even though John struggled with his relationship with his father, he knew that his father cared for him. John wanted to make him proud. This character trait is core to John; he always will sacrifice for those he loves simply because he loves them. 

“It’s no exaggeration to say that lives are on the line. One wrong decision, and your buddy might die. It’s this fact that makes the army work. […] I’ve met geniuses and idiots, but when all is said and done, we do what we do for one another. For friendship. Not for country, not for patriotism, not because we’re programmed killing machines, but because of the guy next to you. You fight for your friend, to keep him alive, and her fights to protect you, and everything about the army is built on this simple premise.”

This short description helps us understand what John values in the army, and it also foreshadows his decision to re-up after 9/11 because of his men and the desire to fight for the man next to him. In this way, his decision is framed as out of his hands; although he wants to return home, he has no other choice than to fight with his men. 

“Despite the sister comment, I got the impression by the way he said, ‘special’ that his feelings ran a little deeper than he was letting on. But, unlike Randy, he didn’t seem at all jealous about the fact that she’d invite me here. Before I could puzzle over it, Savannah appeared on the stairs and stepped onto the sand.”

John begins to question Tim’s feelings about Savannah early in their relationship, although he doesn’t bring them up to her. This also foreshadows that Tim will be a character we will see again. Later, John is grateful for Tim because he can be there for Savannah while he is gone. 

“Outside my window, I saw a shooting star cross the sky in a brilliant streak of white. I wanted to believe it was an omen, though of what, I wasn’t sure. Instead, all I could do was replay Savannah’s gentle kiss on my cheek for the hundredth time and wonder how I could be falling for a girl that I’d met only the day before.”

John isn’t sure what the shooting start is an omen for, but it symbolizes their relationship. As quickly as Savannah comes into John’s life, she leaves. Like a shooting star, their relationship comes in brief flashes.

“In the car, Savannah seemed lost in thought. I would have asked about her impressions of my father but wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. I know my dad, and I didn’t have the best relationship, but she was right when she’d said he was on the only family I had and raised me. I could complain about him, but the last thing I wanted to hear was someone else doing it too.”

In the car, after Savannah and John have spent time with John’s father, John is nervous. He wonders about Savannah’s judgment of his father, toward whom he feels immensely protective. Even though they have a strained relationship, he is John’s father who cared for him and raised him, and John feels a need to protect him. This moment helps us see John as more than just a resentful son, but a rounded character who has deep and complicated relationships. It also foreshadows Savannah’s eventual thoughts on Mr. Tyree.

“In the silence, I thought about the courage she had shown, not only that night, but afterward. Had she not told me, I would never have suspected anything bad had ever happened to her. I marveled that despite what happened, she has managed to hold on to her optimistic view of the world.”

After Savannah shares that she had been drugged and almost raped in her first year at Chapel Hill, John marvels that she still has an idealistic view of the world. For Savannah, this romantic view is core to her character and is tested by the hardships she faces with Tim later. John admires Savannah for this trait, which partly fuels his attraction to her.

“‘Know what?’ I demanded. ‘That you think something’s wrong with him? That I shouldn’t expect to have a normal relationship with him? That I have to talk about coins if I want to talk to him at all.’

I didn’t hide the anger in my voice […]. As we stared at each other, I didn’t expect Savannah to answer, and frankly, I didn’t want her to. I was still trying to get my mind around the fact that the hours she had spent with my dad were nothing but a charade.

‘Maybe,’ she whispered.

I blinked, unsure that she’s said what I thought she had. ‘What?’

‘You heard me.’ She gave a small shrug. ‘Maybe that’s the only thing you’ll ever talk about with your father. It might be all he can do.’”

Savannah’s suggestion that John’s father may have Asperger’s Disease is frustrating and hurtful to John. Savannah thinks she is helping John understand his father. John isn’t upset that she may be correct, but rather that he let Savannah meet his father, and the whole time she was studying him. This shows how John is protective of his father. It is also one of the turning points in John’s relationship with his father.

“But there were some indications that Savannah had been right about my father. His unchanging routines, his social awkwardness, his lack of interest in topics other than coins, his desire to be alone—all seemed like quirks that anyone might have, but with my father, it was different. […] At the very least, I learned that it might explain my father’s behavior, and if so, it wasn’t that he wouldn’t change his mind, but that he couldn’t change. Even with all the implied uncertainty, I found the realization comforting. And, I realized, it might explain two questions that had always plagued me regarding my mother: What had she seen in him? And why had she left?”

Seeing his father in this new light gives John immediate insight into his father, marking a turning point in their relationship. It helps to clear up many of the frustrations he has with his father and remove some of John’s expectations for his father that he may never be able to live up to.

“I love you, John Tyree, and I am going to hold you to the promise you once made to me. If you come back, I’ll marry you. If you break your promise, you’ll break my heart. Love, Savannah.

Beyond the window and through the tears in my eyes, I could see a layer of clouds spread beneath me. I had no idea where we were. All I knew was that I wanted to turn around and go back home, to be in the place I was meant to be.”

Finally, John has a purpose—his love for Savannah—but he is kept separate from it by the military and his duties. To John, Savannah represents an idealistic future, and he promises to marry her when he returns. The reader knows something will prevent him from keeping that promise. It works to build tension and foreshadow that they will remain separated.

“We made love a second time, and when Savannah finally fell asleep, I found myself staring at her. Everything about her was exquisitely peaceful, but for some reason, I couldn’t escape a nagging sense of dread. As tender and exciting as it had been, I couldn’t help wondering whether there had been a trace of desperation in our actions as if we were both clinging to the hope that this would sustain our relationship through whatever the future would bring.”

During John’s second leave, the couple faces the hurt they both experienced. John returns to find that Savannah has a full life without him. Savannah felt hopeless and heartbroken when John left and doesn’t want to go through this again. John’s dread creates tension, heightening the stakes for the couple. They are so close to being together, with John being done in six months, but what other force will keep them apart?

“Recruiting offices began to fill around the country with men wanting to enlist. Among those of use already enlisted, the desire to serve was stronger than ever. Tony was the first of the men in my squad to re-up for an additional two years, and one by one, every other man followed his lead. Even I, who was expecting my honorable discharge in December and I had been counting until I could do home to Savannah, caught the fever and found myself reenlisting.”

John’s decision to re-up is motivated by a sense of duty and patriotism that swelled after 9/11. This quote helps to set up the reasoning behind the decision, and that, again, it is another force out of his hands. Going home to Savannah means leaving his men and forgoing his duty during the country’s time of need, and that is not something that John can do. He values loyalty and has found much of his purpose in the military. 

“She was in love with someone else. I knew that even before I finished reading the letter, and all at once the world seemed to slow down. My first instinct was to ram my fist into a wall, but instead I crumpled up the letter and threw it aside. I was incredibly angry then; more than feeling betrayed, I felt as if she’d crushed everything that has any meaning in the world. I hated her, and I hated the nameless, faceless man who’d stolen her from me. I fantasized what I would do to him if he ever crossed my path, and the picture wasn’t pretty.”

After John receives his break-up letter from Savannah, he feels betrayed. Idealistic and kind Savannah destroys John’s future dreams and his purpose. While he is still enlisted, he had hoped to return to Savannah to be with her. This, of course, sets up the last part of the novel, the second force that keeps the couple apart—her love for someone else.

“‘I mean it, Dad. I’m sorry about all the crappy things I put you through, and I’m sorry that I was never here for you enough. You’re the best person I’ve ever known. You’re the only one who never got angry with me, you never judged me, and somehow you taught me more about life than any son could possibly ask. I’m sorry that I can’t be here for you now, and I hate myself for doing this to you. But I’m scared, Dad. I don’t know what else to do.’

         My voice sounded hoarse and uneven to my own ears, and I wanted nothing more than for him to put his arms around me.

         ‘Okay,’ he finally said.

         I smiled at his response. I couldn’t help it.

         ‘I love you, Dad.’

         To this he knew exactly what to say, for it had always been part of his routine.

         ‘I love you, too, John.’”

In this touching last moment, John tells his father what he has wanted to say to him for a long time. His father, however, is unable to respond, but for John, this gives him comfort because he understands why that is. This moment of great sadness shows how John loving his father with no expectations actually helps him to love him. Although he wishes his father would put his arms around him, he knows he won’t, but he can share that he loves him.

“I knew that she wanted me to see that Tim was still the same man I remembered, and in a sense, I knew she was asking because she wanted forgiveness. Still…

         She reached out to take my hand. ‘Please. It would mean a lot to me.’

         Despite the warmth of her hand, I didn’t want to come back. I didn’t want to see Tim; I didn’t want to see the two of them together or sit around the table pretending that all seemed right in the world. But there was something plaintive about her request that made it impossible to turn her down.”

Tim is a kind, welcoming, and authentic man, and John knows that Savannah wants him to see him that way again, but John is hurt. Still, he agrees. He doesn’t know that Tim is sick and doesn’t know the hardships Savannah and Tim have been through, although he knows there is something that Savannah isn’t telling him. John doesn’t want to Tim living the life he imagined living with Savannah.

“‘No.’ I kept my voice steady. ‘Nothing stands out. But that’s why you always wanted me to look at the moon, right? So that I could remember all of it.’”

For John and Savannah, the moon is a symbol of their relationship. Unforgettable, and even invisible during the day, it always comes back, directed, like them, by invisible forces. For John, their relationship is all-encompassing, and by referencing the moon, he suggests that he hasn’t forgotten anything and that it all comes back to him, still.

“I waited to answer, wanting to choose my words with care. ‘My first thought was that in a way, it made sense. He’s been in love with you for years. I knew that from the moment I met him.’ I ran a hand over my face. ‘After that, I felt…conflicted. I was glad that you picked someone like him, because he is a nice guy and you two have a lot in common, but then I was just…sad. We didn’t have that long to go. I would have been out of the army for almost two years now.’

         She pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry,’ she murmured.

         ‘I am, too.’ I tried to smile. ‘If you want my honest opinion, I think you should have waited for me.’

         She laughed uncertainly, and I was surprised by the look of longing on her face. She reached for her glass of wine.”

In a moment of emotional honesty, John shares with Savannah his experience of seeing her with Tim. He wishes that she would have waited for him. Savannah thinks about that often, especially considering the hardships she has been through. This passage shows how conflicted John feels about her marriage to Tim and how close they were to being together.

“For the first time in years, my love for Savannah felt…wrong. Love should bring joy, it should grant a person peace, but here and now, it was bringing only pain. To Tim, to Savannah, even to me. I hadn’t come to tempt Savannah or ruin her marriage…or had I? I wasn’t sure I was quite as noble as I thought I was, and the realization left me feeling as empty as a rusted paint can.” 

Here, John realizes that his love for Savannah is only causing pain. He is coming between Tim and Savannah, and love shouldn’t cause pain like that. Although nothing happens between Savannah and John, he is tempted, and he doesn’t want to be that kind of man.

“‘Yes, you do,’ I said. “You’re married to Tim, not me.’ I let that sink in while gathering my strength for what I wanted to say next. ‘He’s a good man, Savannah. A better man than men, that for sure, and I’m glad you married him. As much as I love you, I’m not willing to break up a marriage for it. And deep down, I don’t think you are, either. Even if you love me, you love him, too. It took me a little while to realize that, but I’m sure of it.’”

Although they still love each other, John knows that Savannah and Tim’s marriage is another force that will keep them apart. And in the same way that Tim didn’t intervene in their relationship years before, John believes that he owes him the same thing. This is a moment of enormous growth for John.

“‘I love you, Savannah, and I always will,’ I breathed. ‘You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You were my best friend and my lover, and I don’t regret a single moment of it. You made me feel alive again, and most of all, you gave me my father. I’ll never forget you for that. You’re always going to be the very best part of me. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I have to leave, and you have to see your husband.’ As I spoke, I could feel her shaking with sobs, and I continued to hold her for a long time afterward. When we finally separated, I knew that it would be the last time I ever held her.

I backed away, my eyes holding Savannah’s.

‘I love you, too, John,’ she said.

‘Good-bye.’”

For John, his relationship with Savannah gives him his life back, a purpose outside the army, and restores his relationship with his father. Although it doesn’t end how he pictured it, he recognizes the role that Savannah played in his life, and he will hold her in a special place, even though they cannot be together again. This is the resolution of John’s question at the beginning of the novel, “What does it mean to truly love someone?”

“It didn’t guarantee that he would live to an old age, but it did guarantee him a fighting chance, and that’s all I wanted for both of them. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted her to be happy. And from what I witnessed today, they were. I’d come because I needed to know that I’d made the right choice in selling the coins for Tim’s treatment, that I’d done the right thing in never contacting her again, and from where I sat, I knew that I had.”

John realizes that true love means seeing Savannah happy, so he sells his coins to give her the money needed to save Tim’s life and be happy with the life she chose. Although it wasn’t with John, he loves Savannah so much that he wants to see her happy, and coming back to the farm a year later confirms that he did the right thing. This is the end of an extended character arc for John.