Hunger

In Part 1 of her memoir, Roxane Gay explains that she will reveal some of her most personal experiences: She seeks to challenge fatphobia and come to terms with her trauma and body. The book is as much for the audience as it is for Gay. She explains that her current fat body is the result of a childhood trauma that permanently transformed her relationship with her body. The point of her story is not to show someone overcoming her demons to reveal the “thin woman” within—but rather, to speak her truth.

Food served two purposes for Gay after her assault. Firstly, it was a source of comfort that eased her loneliness. This loneliness was not new, but it was exacerbated by Gay’s inability to tell her family what happened out of shame. Secondly, food acted as a tool for both empowerment and destruction of her former self. Through eating, Gay could transform her body into one that was undesirable. She saw how others viewed fat people and sought this disapproval—and alleged safety—from future violence. Nevertheless, her bodily transformation brought with it more unhappiness. She created walls to protect herself, yet these walls became a cage that kept her from living the life she wanted.

Gay also acknowledges the tension between her understanding of feminism and her self-image, a theme she explores throughout the book. This inner conflict—that between wanting to challenge social norms and struggling to overcome their internalization—is relatable even outside of feminism. By confronting this tension, Gay makes herself vulnerable and shows her audience that she is imperfect