Regretting You

Two weeks later, Clara sits in a Starbucks and orders coffee. She details how she has been avoiding home by staying in the Starbucks until her curfew and how she has grown fond of the taste of coffee, which she previously despised. The lack of communication between Clara and Morgan has created tension. Clara reveals that she is aware of Morgan and Jonah’s trip to the hotel and that her mother lied to her.

Clara receives a notification on her phone that Miller has once again started following her on Instagram. As they begin to message, Miller reveals that he has broken up with his girlfriend. He meets her at the Starbucks. They decide to take a drive together. In the car, Miller tells Clara that his grandfather has been diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live. They return to the Starbucks and engage in comfortable conversation. Clara confesses that she signed them up for the film competition. Miller confides in Clara that he has had a crush on her for three years; he began avoiding her after she started briefly dating another boy and he started dating Shelby. They share a sweet first kiss before moving back to Miller’s car. They kiss passionately. Miller realizes that Clara is past her curfew, so she leaves to return home.

Morgan waits for Clara at home while Jonah fixes the kitchen door. Before Jonah leaves for the evening, they discuss whether to tell Elijah and Clara the truth about Chris being Elijah’s father. Morgan says she does not want Clara to know. When Clara arrives home, Jonah leaves. Clara asks her mother about her and Jonah, but Morgan eludes Clara’s questions.

Morgan reminisces on the day she discovered she was pregnant, which she refers to as “one of the worst days of [her] life” (153). She recalls being at the lake with Jonah, Jenny, and Chris. In the flashback, when Jenny and Chris venture off to the store, Jonah begins to confess his feelings for Morgan. Afraid of betraying her sister and Chris, Morgan impulsively confesses that she is pregnant with Chris’s baby. Jonah escapes into the water. When he emerges, he tells Morgan that he will be breaking up with Jenny. After Jenny and Jonah leave together, Morgan informs Chris about the pregnancy. The next day, Jonah breaks up with Jenny and abruptly leaves for Minnesota without saying goodbye to Chris and Morgan.

Later that evening, Clara and Miller text. Miller calls Clara and admits he first developed feelings for Clara after witnessing her lead performance in a school play years earlier. Miller confesses that he felt insecure and unworthy of Clara.

The next morning, Clara updates Lexie on what happened with Miller. When they arrive at school, Miller greets Clara and walks her into school. Clara is filled with happiness until she begins to feel overwhelmed by grief and guilt. After Miller drops her off at class, Clara shares her feelings with Jonah. In an effort to comfort Clara, Jonah compares grief to a rollercoaster ride.

After class, Clara waits for Miller. Morgan appears and informs Clara that she is applying for a job as a substitute teacher, and that she plans on reenrolling in college. As Morgan and Clara argue, Miller arrives; not noticing Morgan, he kisses Clara on the cheek. He apologizes and introduces himself to Morgan. Clara dismisses Miller and begins to argue with her mother again. Morgan confronts Clara about her relationship with Miller and angrily admits that the advice that Clara received from Jenny actually came from her. Clara yells at her mother for attempting to undermine Clara’s connection with her aunt. Morgan apologizes while Clara storms off.

Morgan regrets taking credit for Jenny’s advice and admits to herself that she did this out of anger. Seeing her distress, Jonah ushers Morgan into his classroom and comforts her. When Miller enters for class, Morgan scolds him. On her way out, Morgan asks Jonah if she can pick up Elijah from daycare for comfort. Jonah agrees.

At lunchtime, Miller comforts Clara. Lexie arrives and jokingly demands Miller set her up with one of his friends. Miller introduces Lexie to his friend Efren. As Lexie and Efren begin talking, Miller and Clara share a quick kiss and are given lunch detention for their public display of affection. During detention, Miller asks Clara to come to the movies later that night while he is working. Clara devises a plan to lie to her mother about hanging out with Lexie.

Later that afternoon, Jonah arrives to pick up Elijah and continue his work on Morgan’s kitchen door. He asks Morgan if he can use Chris’s toolbox, which has been locked since Chris’s death. Inside the toolbox, Morgan and Jonah discover multiple letters Jenny wrote to Chris. Jonah decides not to read the letters, so Morgan places them in her bedroom to read later.

While Jonah works on taking the kitchen door off the hinges, Morgan sits with him and stares at a painting Jenny purchased years earlier for Chris’s birthday. She tells Jonah about the memory of Jenny buying the painting. They commiserate over how much they hate Jenny and Chris for lying to them. Jonah pulls a carton of eggs from Morgan’s refrigerator and begins to throw them at the painting. Morgan joins in. When they run out of eggs, they continue their destruction of the painting with various foods and condiments. The two begin to laugh for the first time since Chris and Jenny’s deaths. As the mood shifts, Jonah and Morgan lean toward each other for a kiss. However, they hear Clara’s car pull into the driveway, so they separate and begin to clean up their mess.

Clara arrives home to change clothes. She witnesses her mother and Jonah cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. When they struggle to explain the scene, Clara does not ask any more questions and lies to her mother about going to the movies with Lexie.

Miller greets Clara at the movie theater. They feast on concession stand snacks in an empty theater. Clara jokes with Miller about his affinity for lollipops. Miller shares more about his relationship with Shelby. Miller says he was allowed to sleep over at Shelby’s house every week, which makes Clara feel insecure about her lack of sexual experience. She confesses this insecurity to Miller, who reassures her. They agree to have sex at prom if they are still together in five months.

As Jonah finishes cleaning up the kitchen, Morgan feeds Elijah. After Morgan puts Elijah to bed, she and Jonah move to the backyard to discuss what happened in the kitchen. Morgan paces nervously while Jonah asks her whether she would have stayed with Chris if she had not become pregnant with Clara. To evade the question, Morgan moves to her bedroom. Jonah follows her. Morgan shares her distress about their potential kiss and the guilt she feels. She confronts Jonah about his sudden departure years ago and calls him selfish. Jonah storms out of the house with Elijah. Morgan follows him. Jonah lashes out at Morgan for calling him selfish and explains that he left out of respect for Morgan’s relationship with Jenny. After he leaves, Morgan collapses in the front yard out of exhaustion.

Clara arrives home from her date with Miller. She joins Morgan on the grass and expresses how worried she is about her. Morgan apologizes for their argument earlier at school. After Clara admits to seeing Miller that evening, Morgan warns Clara to be careful because she does not want Clara “making the same mistake [she] did” (202). Upset that Morgan refers to her as a mistake, Clara storms off into the house. Morgan returns to her bedroom and hides Jenny’s letters to Chris in her dresser.

On Monday, Jonah asks Clara about Morgan, who has not returned his texts all weekend. Clara shares her concerns about Morgan. Miller and Clara make plans to meet later that evening to work on their film project.

At Miller’s house, Miller tells Clara that his grandfather will be placed on hospice soon. Miller tells Clara that his mother, his grandfather’s daughter, died when he was 10, so he serves as his grandfather’s primary caregiver. The two kiss passionately and never begin their work on their project.

A week after Jonah and Morgan’s fight, Morgan avoids answering his phone calls. When Jonah continues to text, Morgan calls Jonah back. He explains that Elijah has a fever and cannot attend daycare and asks Morgan to watch Elijah while he is at work. Morgan agrees. While she waits for Jonah to arrive with Elijah, she makes Jonah breakfast.

Jonah arrives and admits that he took Elijah to the emergency room the night before. Morgan gives Jonah the breakfast she made him. Throughout the day, she updates Jonah on Elijah’s condition. When Clara informs her of her project with Miller, Morgan confronts Jonah over text about his part in partnering Clara with Miller.

Later that evening, Jonah arrives to pick up Elijah. He and Morgan have dinner together while Elijah sleeps. Jonah compliments her, and Morgan becomes overwhelmed with her undeniable feelings for Jonah. She confronts him about having sex with Jenny the year before. Jonah admits that he slept with Jenny because he was upset that Morgan did not attend his father’s funeral, and that he was jealous of Morgan’s relationship with Chris. As he prepares to leave with Elijah, he asks Morgan if she felt the same way about him. Before Morgan can answer, Jonah kisses her.

Clara walks in on Jonah and Morgan kissing. Distressed, Clara locks herself in her room and questions how long Jonah and her mother have been romantically involved. Desperate to hurt her mother, Clara decides to lose her virginity with Miller that evening. She calls Miller and asks him to come to her house after work, telling him to sneak into her bedroom through the window.

Miller arrives, and they begin to have sex. Distracted by her anger, Clara struggles to enjoy her first sexual experience. Convinced of her mother’s betrayal of her aunt and father, she questions whether love is real. Miller notices Clara crying and stops. She tells him about seeing Jonah and her mother kissing. Hurt that Clara has used him for revenge against her mother, Miller dresses and prepares to leave. Upset, Clara begs Miller for forgiveness while he comforts her. They fall asleep next to each other.