57 pages • 1 hour read
The next morning, Robin bumps into Mom in the kitchen. Mom shows Robin that she’s replaced her ice cream bar and admits that living with Grandmother has been difficult. However, Mom still encourages Robin to consider The Debt.
At school that morning, Robin gives Amy her old ribbons. During the rest of the day, Robin thinks critically about Grandmother’s sacrifice and resolves to make more of an effort. When Robin gets home, she asks Grandmother to sew the spare ribbons onto her pointe shoes, eager to spend quality time together. However, when Grandmother catches a glimpse of Robin’s misshapen feet, she is shocked and urges Robin to quit ballet. The two argue until Mom interrupts.
Though Robin protests, Grandmother draws Mom’s attention to Robin’s curling toes. Mom, concerned, insists that Robin see a doctor, though Robin insists, falsely, that she feels no pain. In the meantime, at Grandmother’s urging, Mom confiscates Robin’s shoes.
Robin is shocked that Mom has betrayed her. When Dad arrives home, she ambushes him, complaining that Mom and Grandmother have taken away ballet. Dad, indignant, confronts Mom and immediately blames her family. However, when Dad notices Robin’s toes, he agrees that she should rest.
The earliest doctor’s appointment is not for a few weeks. In the meantime, Robin vows to wage war on Grandmother. One night at dinner, Robin deliberately ignores Grandmother and sits with her back to the table. Though her parents correct her, Robin continues her pranks, until she’s ordered to eat alone in the living room. That night, Ian asks Robin why she insults Grandmother. Robin explains that Grandmother has treated her poorly and has forced her to quit ballet. Ian sides with Grandmother, complaining that ballet made Robin smell.
The next evening, Grandmother announces that she and Ian are going to prepare a special meal. Dad travels to Clement Street to gather the necessary ingredients. Grandmother and Ian work tirelessly to prepare the meal. At one point, Ian asks Robin for her help, explaining that Grandmother shouldn’t stay on her feet too long. However, Robin declines.
Once dinner is ready, Robin sits down at the table. She subtly unzips her sweatshirt and pulls out a can of air freshener. Aiming to punish Ian for his comment about her odor, she sprays the can across the table. Mom, dashing around the table, grabs Robin by the wrist. Robin, however, cries about losing ballet and takes off.
Robin continues to ignore Grandmother. Mom looks at her angrily, while Dad seems scared of what she’ll do next. At night, Robin can hear them arguing.
One day after school, Robin arrives home to a quiet house. She assumes that Mom, off work early, has treated Grandmother and Ian to an outing. However, when Robin opens the bathroom door, she finds Grandmother sitting on the edge of the tub, soaking her bare feet in a basin of water. Robin has never seen Grandmother’s feet before; to her horror, they appear twisted in unnatural angles. Grandmother, embarrassed, throws a towel over her feet and orders Robin out. Robin retreats to Ian’s bedroom.
Eventually, Mom comes home and finds Robin sitting in bed. Robin realizes that Grandmother must have relayed what happened. Mom sits on Ian’s bed and gently explains that Grandmother is a survivor of footbinding. According to Mom, small feet were considered beautiful in China, and many mothers forcibly reshaped their daughters’ feet with silk ribbons. When Grandmother arrived in Hong Kong, however, she removed the ribbons, finally free of her past. Mom speculates that without the ribbons, she experiences intense pain, as the ribbons had inhibited blood flow.
Robin, shocked, regrets that she’s treated Grandmother so poorly. She realizes that Grandmother mistakenly assumed she was binding her feet, and thus reacted severely. Mom promises to correct Grandmother once Robin has seen the doctor.
Only Mom and Robin know Grandmother’s secret, and Robin feels as if she’s been initiated into some terrible club. She vows to protect Grandmother’s privacy and to help Mom shoulder the burden. She realizes, too, that Grandmother has loved her all along.
Soon, Ian bursts in and pulls Grandmother along with him. Grandmother, averting Robin’s gaze, asks her to read Ian a story, as she can’t read English. Ian picks out a collection of Hans Christian Andersen fairytales. When the book falls open to “The Little Mermaid,” Ian insists they read it. Grandmother joins Ian on his bed, and Robin begins the story.
The story is about a young mermaid who submits to a magical spell so that she might walk on land. Though her wish is granted, each step causes her unspeakable pain. For a moment, Robin hesitates, but Grandmother urges her to continue. In the end, the mermaid is changed into seafoam. Ian doesn’t understand the story, but Grandmother seems to resonate with its message.
Breaking the tension, Robin explains to Grandmother that her satin ribbons are only meant for ballet; to prove her point, she shows Grandmother a picture of herself in costume. When Grandmother worries that Robin thinks her foolish, Robin insists instead that Grandmother is incredibly brave. Grandmother brushes aside Robin’s hair and admits that she’d feared Robin’s judgment. Robin pulls Grandmother into a tender hug, and they vow to start over.
Robin vows to stop asking about ballet lessons so frequently. That night at dinner, Dad is happy to see that Robin is no longer ignoring Grandmother. Later, as the family settles into the living room, Mom suggests they watch a Chinese movie. Dad, however, insists on watching his videorecording of Robin’s last recital. Both Mom and Robin beg Dad to watch something else instead. However, Dad, ignorant of Grandmother’s condition, argues that Grandmother should appreciate Robin’s skill. Ultimately, Dad wins out, and he inserts the tape into the player.
Dad points out Robin as she appears on the screen. As Robin watches herself, she realizes how much she’s matured in the past year. Though the backdrops are crude and some of the students unfocused, Robin is proud of the production. Reflecting on Madame’s teaching, she wonders how far along she’d be, if she’d been free to continue her lessons. However, she quickly abandons such speculation.
Meanwhile, Grandmother is transfixed. When Grandmother asks Robin to explain her passion for dance, Robin decides that it’s meaningful to be a “part of something bigger than yourself” (123). Grandmother, in tune with Robin’s meaning, agrees.
Grandmother asks Dad to play the tape again. Dad slows down the speed, tracing Robin’s steps. Grandmother compliments Robin’s grace. When Robin realizes that Grandmother will never dance, she begins to cry. Though Robin tries to hide her tears, Ian notices and teases her. Mom demands that Dad stop the tape. Dad briefly pushes back, arguing that Grandmother should experience Robin’s passion.
Ultimately, though Grandmother enjoys watching Robin dance, she still worries that Robin will permanently harm her feet. However, Robin assures Grandmother that ballet will never seriously disfigure her.
Finally, Dad stops the tape, and Robin catches an angry look between him and Mom. Robin, sensitive to the struggles in her parents’ marriage, anticipates that they’ll share another heated discussion. As the chapter closes, Robin worries that she’s to blame for their disharmony.
This next section of the novel marks a major turning point, as Robin, barging in on Grandmother in the bathroom, learns that Grandmother is a survivor of footbinding. Footbinding was a Chinese custom of breaking and binding girls’ feet, so that they might better fit an aesthetic standard. In his afterword to the novel, Yep notes that though footbinding was outlawed in 1911, it persisted in rural areas until the mid-20th century, when the Communist revolution transformed modern China (181). In exploring the history of footbinding and its modern legacy, Yep introduces a larger discussion of beauty, dance, and the unique suffering of women.
At its core, footbinding is a function of larger beauty ideal, favoring smaller feet and, in turn, a higher social standing. Aside from the novel’s afterword, Yep mostly dissects footbinding and its relationship to beauty through a conversation between Mom and Robin—a uniquely intimate narrative choice that approaches footbinding on an individual scale. For instance, after Robin glimpses Grandmother’s feet, Mom offers her much needed context, explaining that “there was a time back in China when people thought women’s feet had to be shaped a certain way to be beautiful” (110). To Robin, such a practice is appalling, and she suddenly appreciates why Grandmother had startled at her satin ribbons. At this point, ribbons emerge as a motif signifying continuity between generations.
Afterwards, Mom admits to Robin that “just you and me” (112) know Grandmother’s secret; neither Dad and Ian, nor Georgie and Eddy, are aware. Recognizing this new connection, Robin describes it thus: “[W]e were bound now by the same terrible secret” (113). In using the word “bound,” Robin seeks to emphasize her new, unexpected closeness with Mom. However, “bound,” of course, can also be understood as a reference to footbinding. With this subtle diction, Yep emphasizes another, more insidious thread between Mom, Robin, Grandmother, and even women generally: All carry the trauma of footbinding and other harmful beauty standards. Mom suggests this, too, when she reminds Robin that “even in America, you find women who wear shoes a couple sizes too small just so they can appear to have little feet” (110). As Mom explains, footbinding might not be present in every culture, or every generation, but its enforcement of an impossible standard is hardly unique; instead, it’s an oppression that all women, of diverse ages and backgrounds, share.
Considering this pervasive effect on women, Grandmother fears that Robin, too, is a victim of footbinding. Notably, Robin’s toes curl downward, shaped by her pointe shoes. The effect mimics that of traditional footbinding, and when Grandmother notices, she demands that Robin “mustn’t dance” and “mustn’t wear [her pointe shoes] at all” (97). At this point, not understanding Grandmother’s reasoning, Robin mourns the situation as unjust and unprovoked: When Mom confiscates her shoes, for instance, she claims that “Paw-paw’s got her buffaloed” (99). Yep validates Robin’s plight while still emphasizing Grandmother’s point. In the garage, Robin practices until her legs ache and forces herself to “repeat a whole practice routine” if she makes a mistake (47). She even ignores the “growing pain” in her toes (80) and keeps to a strict diet, allowing herself one dessert a week. In this light, Robin’s self-discipline seems to stray toward self-punishment, and her relationship with her body is almost adversarial. She rarely compliments her body, for instance, and criticizes it as “helpless and flabby” (82), or worries that she’ll soon grow too tall. It’s easy, in this light, to share Grandmother’s concern that Robin is unhealthily obsessed with beauty.
However, after learning about footbinding, Robin can contextualize Grandmother’s concerns and teach her the true meaning of dance, Bridging Generational Divides through Empathy. To first broach the subject, Robin employs “The Little Mermaid,” a symbol of the communicative power of art. After this discussion, when Grandmother watches the recording of Robin’s recital, she appreciates Robin’s talent but warns that “terrible things are done in the name of beauty” (123). However, Robin argues that beauty and dance are in no way synonymous: Beauty is an inherently superficial quality, while dance is a rich, artistic experience. As Robin dances, she feels like she’s a “part of something bigger” (123), surrendering to the music until she feels that “you are the song” (124). Dancing, then, is an act of humility and an example of Sacrificing for a Greater Good. In this light, Robin’s grueling self-discipline can be understood less as a beauty ritual and more as an extension of her passion for dance and respect for its precision. In differentiating between dance and footbinding, Robin assures Grandmother that the cycle has ended.
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By Laurence Yep