The Tell: A Memoir

Two years after the family trip for her father’s birthday, Amy’s mother called to tell her that her old middle school needed to be completely demolished and rebuilt. This felt “felt like a cosmic punch line” (212) to Amy. She wasn’t sure she was ready to make the trip home yet, but she wanted to see the school one last time before it was gone. On Amy’s recommendation, her mother had also read Bessel van der Kolk’s book on trauma, The Body Keeps the Score. It had helped Amy to understand that her body was storing her trauma, and the knowledge that her mother had read the book made Amy feel seen and supported. She had realized that nurturing her relationships with her family was a key part of her healing, and she had invested time and energy into her relationships with her siblings and parents. She still experienced “complicated feelings” toward them, but they were close again. Even though she “still struggled to set boundaries, she became “more forgiving” of herself and taught her children “different messages” than the ones she’d learned in rural Texas.

Amy was conflicted about making the trip home to see the school.