True Notebooks: A Writer's Year at Juvenile Hall

In Chapter 14, things improve in Mark's class. The retreat is only a few days away, and the students are excited at the chance to prove themselves. While Mark is cautiously optimistic, others on the staff are skeptical of the retreat's worth, and apprehensive toward the possibility of some crisis. At the planned writing festival, inmates in similar programs from other units read their work. Understandably, when the day comes, the students are nervous. The arrival of the girls proves to be of little incident, and Sister Janet takes the stage to introduce the event: "True justice cannot exist without compassion; compassion cannot exist without understanding. But no one will understand you unless you speak, and are able to speak clearly. And that's exactly what you have been doing in your classes" (154).

Other students begin reading their work. Their work touches on a number of themes, including freedom, family, and hope. A young pregnant inmate named Vivian reads a particularly poignant and heartbreaking piece. The remainder of the day transpires without incident. The boys and girls sit together, and a senior member of the county-wide organization personally commends Mark, the staff, and the students. At the end of the day, Nathaniel reads from a prepared note, which encapsulates everyone's collective sentiments: "When we came through that door, we found ourselves [with] writers and poets, not just fellow inmates. We had a chance to shed the restraints placed on us by this place and feel free, even if it was for only one day" (168).

Chapter 15 begins on a low note. Jimmy Vu is sent to county jail, following punishment for a drug offense. The boys discuss the likely consequences of the offense, eventually leading to talk of powerful psychotropic medications. These meds, they say, have severe effects on both inmates' mood and behavior. Jimmy's sudden disappearance slows things down in the class, and the students have difficulty focusing; his return, however, leads to some of his more significant, if pessimistic writing:

A couple of days have passed already and things are pretty much cooled down by now, which is a good thing. I guess I can't do much about what happened except regret my stupidity and look towards the future. Leave the past in the past. I mean, there's no use stressing…is there? It's not like anything's going to change, right? (177).

Before Jimmy comes back, the students echo similar sentiments, which glamorize and valorize the gang lifestyle. However, as Mark learns, the inmates are always aware of its consequences, even when they pretend not to be; the ability to glamorize gang life is one of the "masks" they put on to make their lives on the inside easier. The reality comes through in the writing, as a short poem from Victor expresses: "I fear what I'm saying won't be heard till I'm gone./I fear that what I'm trying to do won't be felt until I'm gone" (174).