Until Friday Night

“It was the end to our summer and the beginning of our senior year. But I was going to need a beer or six to celebrate. Watching my dad throw up blood as my mother wiped his forehead with pure fear in her eyes—that had been too damn much.”

West Ashby distracts himself from his pain and grief by drinking, having sex, and partying. Although he has friends, he doesn’t tell them about his dad’s illness and impending death. He chooses to mask his feelings as a way to protect himself from his traumatic experiences. His complicated family circumstances therefore inspire his journey towards personal growth.

“‘You like what you see?’ I taunted her, hoping she’d run from me. She didn’t deserve this; using her to ease my pain wasn’t right. And I was angry and couldn’t control my emotions anymore. They stayed so raw all the time. Just like everyone else in my path, she was someone I was pushing away for her own safety.”

West uses Maggie the way he uses other girls when they first meet at the field party. He knows that he’s being insensitive, but he is so accustomed to disregarding others’ feelings that he lapses into aggressive behavior. However, this passage reveals West’s contradictory nature. He is both prone to anger and capable of recognizing his flaws. His line of dialogue contrasts with his internal thought processes, illustrating his character’s complexity. The passage also foreshadows the ways that West will grow and change in the coming chapters.

“What had I been thinking? I wasn’t normally weak just because a guy had a pretty face. My father had a pretty face too, and not once had my mother been able to trust him. I was smarter than this. That was a mistake I wouldn’t make again.”

Maggie’s worries about her relationship with West in comparison to her parents’ dysfunctional marriage. Maggie is drawn to West, but she doesn’t want to let her physical attraction trump her logical brain. She has learned the importance of boundaries and reciprocity from her parents' relationship. The passage both foreshadows coming complexities in Maggie and West’s dynamic, and conveys Maggie’s thoughtful, wise character traits.

“I had to win the state championship for my dad. He wanted it. He’d been saying that my senior year was our year. I was determined to give him that. No matter what I had to do.”

West fears losing his father because he relies upon Jude Ashby to understand himself. Jude has been West’s primary support for as long as West can remember. Therefore, West is determined to make him proud, even if engaging in the football season is difficult given Jude’s illness. West’s relationship with his dad illustrates West’s gentle heart. Their loving connection also explains why West is so afraid of facing Jude’s death.

“I can’t focus on the game and make sure you’re safe at the same time. I didn’t ask to be anyone’s guardian. I don’t have time for this shit. So just please stay out of my world. Find friends who aren’t on my team. And news flash: No guy is going to be your friend. Find some girls to be friends with. Jesus, how naive are you?”

Brady Higgens’s response to Maggie’s arrival in Lawton isolates Maggie. Maggie doesn’t want to complicate her cousin’s life. However, Brady’s determination to keep Maggie out of his friend group worsens Maggie’s loneliness. Maggie has been alienated since her father killed her mother. The tragedy unsettled her family and home life and forced her into silence. Therefore, she struggles to make authentic connections with anyone, because no one, not even Brady, seems to understand her. Brady and Maggie’s dynamic acts as a primary source of narrative tension in the novel’s early chapters.

“She don’t talk because she watched her daddy shoot her momma. He’s in prison or on death row or something. My mom said she’s mental now.”

Because Maggie doesn’t talk, she can’t control her own story. Her peers start spreading rumors about her almost as soon as she starts attending Lawton High School. They make assumptions about who she is after learning about her past. Their unkindness and bullying further isolates Maggie and complicates her ability to adjust to life in Lawton. At the same time, Maggie’s tragic past threatens to dictate who she is in the present, and who she’s allowed to be in the future.

“Pain came to all of us at some time or another. It was how we learned to cope with it that determined our future. In this moment I chose to speak. Silence was normally how I coped, but for the first time since I’d witnessed my father kill my mother, I wanted to speak. I wanted to reassure someone else.”

Maggie breaks her silence for the first time in two years in order to help West. Her sacrificial, compassionate, and understanding nature inspire her to put aside her own needs to comfort another person in need. This scene between Maggie and West marks a turning point in Maggie’s journey towards personal growth and illustrates The Role of Communication in Healing.

“‘The end hurts,’ she said simply. She wasn’t sugarcoating it. She wasn’t telling me I had to be strong. She was just being honest. She knew that words meant nothing right now.”

West grows attached to Maggie when he discovers her capacity for honesty, openness, and compassion. Maggie is the first person who seems to understand what West is going through. She doesn’t respond to his grief and confusion in a predictable way; she authenticates his experience instead of trying to erase or fix it. Therefore, Maggie and West’s conversations become a way for them to cope with their grief and trauma.

“It helped just knowing I could call and hear her voice if I needed to. And I wondered if the sound of my voice helped her? She’d been through something virtually alone. Could I be for her what she was for me?”

West and Maggie’s parallel narrations reveal their private regards for one another. This passage is written from West’s first person point of view and conveys the way that he sees and values Maggie. West hasn’t yet learned how to help Maggie the way she’s helped him; but his narration illustrates his desire to do so. His point of view provides insight into his character’s development.

“I was sunk. This thing I felt for West had vaulted right over the crush I was afraid of and gone straight to full-blown feelings for him. He was being too sweet. How was I supposed to deal with not getting to West Ashby when he was being so dang nice?”

The novel explores The Development of Teenage Romantic Relationships via Maggie and West’s complex dynamic. Because Maggie and West are still young and haven’t been in love before, they aren’t sure how to relate to one another. Maggie particularly struggles to navigate and express her intense feelings. She doesn’t want her emotions to get in the way of helping West, and she doesn’t want West’s needs to trump her feelings. In this passage, she’s privately confronting and trying to make sense of her complex emotions.

“Without me saying a word, she knew I was dealing with some shit. That was something I needed from her. Her understanding without me having to explain.”

Maggie’s grace and compassion teach West new ways of Coping with Grief and Trauma. Her willingness to talk about his pain and sorrow also helps West learn The Role of Communication in Healing. Through Maggie, West pursues personal and relational growth. Over time, he realizes that his grief can help him relate to other grieving individuals, as it has for Maggie.

“One more thing about her that made her so incredibly special. After all she’d faced and all she’d been through, she still had compassion. She still sacrificed for others. I wasn’t sure I could have done the same in her situation.”

Maggie’s grief and trauma puts West’s grief and trauma into perspective. The protagonists’ first person narratives alternate throughout the novel. This formal choice enacts the ways in which the characters are learning from each other. Maggie’s story particularly inspires and moves West and helps him to understand his own story better.

“I wanted to be a part of this family, but as long as I didn’t talk or share my day-to-day life, I remained an outsider. If I started talking to my aunt and uncle, eventually they were going to want me to talk about what I’d seen. About what had happened. I didn’t want to. I was no longer terrified to hear my own voice—talking to West had shown me I could hear myself again and not fall apart—but I wasn’t ready to talk about my mother…or my father.”

Maggie searches for home, family, and belonging throughout the novel. Maggie has felt alone and misunderstood ever since her father killed her mother two years prior. She chooses silence to protect herself and avoid her memories; but silence also worsens her loneliness. As the narrative unfolds and Maggie’s relationship with West develops, Maggie begins to reflect on her personal journey more often. This passage conveys her simultaneous desire to grow and her fear of changing.

“I want you to know, I can be the man now. I can take care of Momma, and I swear to you I will. She won’t ever be alone. I’ll make sure of that. I’ll make you proud of me. Don’t worry about us. We will miss you every day. Your memory will always be with us. But I won’t let you down. I’ll be the man you raised me to be.”

West’s decision to speak to Jude before his death conveys his character growth. At the start of the novel, West avoids his father and his home because he doesn’t like seeing his father sick or his mother in pain. However, in this scene, he sits by Jude’s deathbed and tells him everything he wants him to know. His honesty and openness convey his newfound courage and desire to change, and he is able to take this step because of Maggie’s encouragement.

“West flipped his hand over and threaded his fingers through mine. This connection between us meant something more to me than it did to him, but that didn’t matter. At least I got to experience it.”

West’s father’s death complicates Maggie’s understanding of her relationship with West. She supports him through Jude’s passing but realizes that she wants their connection to transcend West’s loss. At the same time, Maggie cares about West so much that she’s willing to sacrifice her comfort, her longings, and her needs just to help him. The passage captures the complexity of The Development of Teenage Romantic Relationships.

“I get it. But one day you’ll need to focus on helping you. Hiding from the world this way isn’t healthy. You’re not healing. You’re avoiding.”

Brady’s character ushers Maggie’s character towards change and growth. Brady is initially reluctant to welcome Maggie into his life, family, and friend group. However, he comes to understand and respect Maggie the longer she is in his life. His words in this dialogue with his cousin capture his protective and loving nature. At the same time, Brady’s forthrightness illustrates his desire to see Maggie heal in healthy ways.

“Later, when she curled up against me in the truck and I held her while I looked out at the lights of Lawton below us, I let the first tear fall. For all that I had lost. For all that I had found. For all I couldn’t lose now but feared I would.”

West and Maggie’s intimate relationship ushers West towards healing and personal growth. Before meeting Maggie, West expressed all of his emotions via violence, anger, and bullying. After his father dies and he and Maggie have grown close, West learns that there are other, better ways of emoting. His ability to cry in this scene captures his character development and growth.

“Maybe that was why I’d grown attached to her so quickly. Grief changed you. Made you react differently. But I didn’t want to say that I wouldn’t have wanted Maggie had she not spoken to me.”

West and Maggie bond over their grief and trauma. They understand one another because they’ve both experienced unimaginable loss and pain. After Jude dies and Brady starts questioning West’s feelings for Maggie, West is forced to self-reflect. He wants to believe that his connection with Maggie is independent from their painful circumstances. However, grief has defined their dynamic thus far and therefore threatens to undo them in the future if they don’t heal their connection.

“He gave me a reason to love life again. I’d not really lived in two years, and I finally realized now I had missed so much. Not speaking had protected me in many ways, but it had also isolated me. From everyone.”

West helps Maggie emerge from her sadness and engage with her life again. Maggie retreats from her family, friends, and community after she loses her parents. Until West, she doesn’t let herself relate to others or enjoy her life. Through West, she learns that she deserves joy and happiness despite the trauma she’s experienced. Her revelations in this scene capture her personal growth and foreshadow her decision to speak.

“Today was a big day for me. Today I would stop hiding. I’d make real relationships with my family. I was excited about that. But I was also scared. Afraid of what they’d ask me. Terrified they’d want me to speak of that day. I didn’t want to describe that day again. Ever.”

When Maggie decides to talk again, she is recognizing the importance of The Role of Communication in Healing. For two years, silence has protected her from her pain, others’ judgment, and her traumatic memories. However, this silence has isolated her, too. Breaking the silence is a way for Maggie to reclaim control over her life and story, and to pursue ultimate healing.

“I wanted to be there, making sure everyone was nice to her. That no one was too nice to her and that…No. I had to get control of myself. I didn’t want to smother her with my possessiveness. She was learning to live again, and I had to let her breathe.”

West’s attachment to Maggie errs towards controlling dysfunction. Maggie is the first person West has fallen in love with. Therefore, he’s still learning how to navigate and express his deep feelings. The halting language and punctuation of these lines conveys West’s internal struggle. He wants to be with and protect Maggie, but also knows he must control these impulses if he doesn’t want to lose Maggie.

“You were right. I was using you as a way to cope. I wasn’t giving you anything in return. I was obsessed with having you beside me. Knowing you were mine. That wasn’t helping you. That was my trying to own you.”

West’s apology to Maggie illustrates his character growth. The closer West grows to Maggie, the more he wants to control and own her. However, by this juncture of the novel, he’s learned that love isn’t synonymous with ownership. In this scene, he finds a clear way of communicating his remorse and his feelings, which reveals his desire to grow and change.

“Once I had been sure I wasn’t about to fall to the ground in a sobbing mess, I’d let him go so I could talk to her. I’d told her all about life with Uncle Boone, Aunt Coralee, and Brady. I’d started from the day I’d arrived, and I’d tried to tell her all the important things. Especially about West and his dad. When I’d finished, I’d realized West was right. Talking to her had made it feel as if she were close to me somehow.”

Maggie’s visit to her mother’s grave illustrates her desire to heal. Maggie avoids the cemetery for two years because she’s afraid of reliving her painful memories. Her decision to visit the grave at the novel’s end conveys how her character has changed. She talks to her mom in this scene, too, because she’s learned the importance of communication to healing. Being with and talking to her late mother bridges the gap death has created between them.